OK, if God ever wants me to serve those in another country, I am going to have to decline. I am just not comfortable here at all. Not one bit. Call it what you will. I call it never wanting to leave the USA again, ever. But then of course God is not interested in my comfort, He is interested in my character so this is something I need to pray about fervently.
I decided to venture out on my own tonight, to the local mall about half a mile away from my hotel. As I walked the street known as Silom Road, I encountered so may sensory overloads I thought I could go out of my mind. So many people going here and there. So many sounds from the traffic. They all drive really loud motorcycles here plus those 3 wheeled taxis called Tuk Tuks that run on compressed gas; very loud. Then the smells of sewege everywhere. . . and the food being cooked on the side of the road and being sold to passersby. I wouldnt dare touch it. The sidewalks are cracked and bumpy, I must have tripped 20 times while walking.
Then there were the beggars on the streets. How could i pass them up? I couldnt read their signs as they were in a different language, heck all the signs are in Thai. Why didnt i know that coming here. I guess I did. Anyway, its not what I expected thats for sure.
I dont know what the draw is for tourists. Can someone tell me why they would want to visit? Maybe its my location, Bangkok, thats not that nice a place. Oh well, at least my hotel is a haven away from this, even though its right down there from my window.
I dont have pics yet as I didnt have opportunity to get any, but once I do, I will show you what I mean.
I am sure the people native to Thailand see it as part of their life since this is what they know. I feel like a third wheel here. The next time I see a foreigner in the US I will be sure to ask them if I can help them in anyway since now I know what it feels like to be the "outisder"
God, you can use me, but please make it in the United States. After this trip im not sure I could survive elsewhere. . .
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7 comments:
I hear ya, after living overseas while I was in the Navy, no matter how bad I think the US is I would never EVER want to live anywhere else. It is good to go see how it is in other places, I think it tends to make us more grateful for what we have!!
Hanag in there buddy you will get through it and just think about stories you will have whne it is all over!!
Jason,
I can only image what it must be like for you. Hang in there and accept this adventure as a learning experience - and it looks like you are already learning something. Stop and praise God for your lot in life. God is showing you something, let it sink in and ask him how you can serve him with all he has given you. Ask him to help you understand the thankfulness and fear you are feeling.
Know that you are not alone, Jesus lives in you and is always with you. We're all praying for you. Be open to what God is teaching you so that you can teach us when you return home.
Awe Sunshine, you've just painted a very sad picture for me :( But what do you tell people to do when they're sad? HMM?? So, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go on. One day at a time...Soon you'll be able to click your heels together while saying.."There's no place like home"... now I know you didn't bring your red sneakers, but you did remember your red socks and little stuffed dog too right? Focus on your work and the people you went there to teach. Dazzle them with your knowledge and great smile :).. Oh and don't forget that infectious laugh of yours too !! Think happy thoughts,
Miss Linda
Change can be so very difficult...any change. But drastic change that involves cultural differences, language barriers, ethnic food options and different work ethics is an assault on all senses and can really disarm you. Just rocking that boat to see if you will stand up and if you will step out into the waves...
Absolutely it is an opprtunity to learn as much as one to teach. Sometimes it is hard to distinguish which you should be doing...and that is okay...live and learn.
Transition doesn't happen overnite...and may not even happen in two weeks. But this is only a temporary state and something to look back on, someday...
Know that we are all there with you...and you are never alone.
Hey Jason
Know you are being prayed for!!!!
Ben
Hey you BHCF,
Don't feel too sorry for those over there, like us, they have to make their way through life, and do it the best they can.
Remember that different cultures hold vastly different ways than we are used to. So, if you walk in anothers shoes, take all into consideration, and maybe, just maybe, things ain't so tough!
But I couldn't agree with you more. GOD BLESS the U.S.A.
Thank you all for your wonderful, encouraging and uplifting comments. As the week progresses I begin to feel a little better being here. I still miss home though. . .
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